Making The New Year Happy

It's common this time of year to assess where we are and where we want to go. Resolutions like losing weight, eating healthy, exercising, watching less TV are all common ideas and great things to incorporate into our lives. But, how often do we think about making this next year happy?

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Usually, we view happiness as something at the end of a long struggle. In America our protestant heritage often tells us that happiness is the result of doing without, sacrificing and suffering. Today, I will argue that happiness comes from a more intrinsic place. It doesn't exist as something outside of ourselves but it's source is deep within us. It is the essence of who we are.

Before you click off thinking I'm talking about positive thinking, pause, take a breath and stick with me for a few short paragraphs.

I'm not saying it's easy or obvious. And for some of us it may take a little work. It will require stopping our busy lives for a moment and think about what makes us happy. Once we figure out what those things are, then we make sure that this year we do more of them. No adding new routines, no keeping up with the Jones' or creating an endless list of how we don't measure up.

This week I'll be working on that list. I'll be thinking about what brings me the most joy and I will be doing more of those things. It's important to point out that the joy and happiness I'm talking about isn't fleeting, doesn't wear off or run out. This is the kind of happiness that when you wake up the next day it still feels wonderful and regret free.

I love to read, write and walk and I always feel joy when I'm doing them.  I plan on doing more of them each day. Simple equation: Doing more things that give me joy = HAPPINESS.

What are you going to do more of this year??

I'm heading outside for a walk...

My Favorite B Words

      I love words as does any writer. However, I have some words that are my absolute favorites, either because of how they sound when I say them, the feeling or picture they produce, or what they intuitively mean to me. 

     Today I thought I would share my three most favorite B words. These three words pretty much govern my philosophy of life. They provide a paradigm that I live by. Interestingly, I think they also apply to the writing life.

      Believe  A belief in yourself, a belief in the benevolence of others, and a belief that there is something larger than all of us. I'm not sure the specifics of what that is is as important as the belief that we are part of something greater, part of a power that governs the universe in which all living things play a vital role.

      Balance  Living and growing is a chaotic process. When we are in balance we see things clearer and make better choices. Our daily choices of how we spend our time are rarely between good and bad. They are about balancing our precious time between our families, our work and ourselves.

     Be     This is the hardest of the three. This is the word that tells us to slow down, stop and listen. To be is about learning to accept ourselves. Being allows us to stop the treadmill in order to hear our better self and appreciate who we are. It is about enjoying the moment. Being present in our lives.  

What are your favorite words?

Un-Goals For The Rebellious

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It's the first Monday of 2011 and like everyone else I'm wondering what this new year will bring. The pressure is on to set some lofty goals and hit the road running. We get out that fresh new sheet of paper, open that blank document and...*loud break squeal*...     What can I say, I'm a rebel. For years, I religiously set goals and created huge lists of stuff that I thought I should be learning, habits I should break and things that I should complete that year. By about February I had modified my goals and somewhere around May I would finally flush it all down the crapper.
    If this sounds foreign to you or you're scratching your head in confusion then stop reading and check out these great sites for inspirational goal setting:  Goal Setting For Writers, Setting Effective Writing Goals, Five Steps to Goal Setting, Writer Goals For 2011, Freelance Writers Goals, Meet Your Writing Goals, to name a few.
      If, on the other hand,  you're feeling comfortable and among friends then stick around for some instructions on setting UN-goals.
    Step One: Don't call them goals. Yeah, it's only semantics but for the organizationally challenged it can be a sure-fire end to success. These are target coordinates or directional focus points.
    Step Two: Honestly evaluate where you are. This is often a painful exercise but for any real progress, a vital exercise. For example: If you hate the smell and atmosphere of a gym, setting a goal to hit the gym 3-4 times a week is just plain stupid!
     Step Three:Reflect on your successes of 2010, not your failures. So many of us head into our new year with huge failure medals weighing us down before we even start the new year. What worked is what we want to focus on.  Do more of that.
    Step Four: Break it down to small palatable bites. The biggest mistake most of us make when contemplating "goals" is focusing on the beginning and the end. As any writer knows it's the middle of the story that causes the lull, that treading-water-in-army-boots craziness.  So... what one thing can you do everyday that will keep you going and pointed in the right direction.
    Step Five: Push reset often! The rebellious are easily bored. People like us tend to be random, spontaneous and need to shake things up to keep it interesting. Each month, each week and each day is brand new and can become whatever you decide you want it to be. Sometimes it even requires an hour to hour mentality. 
     Step Six:  Reward often. Celebrate every accomplishment. Create incentives for even the small steps along the way. 1500 word=latte. Five blog posts=chocolate bar. Completed rewrite=new book. You get the idea.
    Step Seven: Find a share-the-joy buddy. This isn't just any friend. This is the one that cheers with you, one that gets excited when you're excited and totally gets you.

There are probably more but I think you get the idea... don't set yourself up to fail before you even get out of the gate. We are way too hard on ourselves. Life and writing can be stressful enough without putting the added pressure of arbitrary goals. Any real accomplishments come from lifestyle changes, being a writer is a lifestyle. So...be the writer. How will you "be the writer" today?