Making The New Year Happy

It's common this time of year to assess where we are and where we want to go. Resolutions like losing weight, eating healthy, exercising, watching less TV are all common ideas and great things to incorporate into our lives. But, how often do we think about making this next year happy?

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Usually, we view happiness as something at the end of a long struggle. In America our protestant heritage often tells us that happiness is the result of doing without, sacrificing and suffering. Today, I will argue that happiness comes from a more intrinsic place. It doesn't exist as something outside of ourselves but it's source is deep within us. It is the essence of who we are.

Before you click off thinking I'm talking about positive thinking, pause, take a breath and stick with me for a few short paragraphs.

I'm not saying it's easy or obvious. And for some of us it may take a little work. It will require stopping our busy lives for a moment and think about what makes us happy. Once we figure out what those things are, then we make sure that this year we do more of them. No adding new routines, no keeping up with the Jones' or creating an endless list of how we don't measure up.

This week I'll be working on that list. I'll be thinking about what brings me the most joy and I will be doing more of those things. It's important to point out that the joy and happiness I'm talking about isn't fleeting, doesn't wear off or run out. This is the kind of happiness that when you wake up the next day it still feels wonderful and regret free.

I love to read, write and walk and I always feel joy when I'm doing them.  I plan on doing more of them each day. Simple equation: Doing more things that give me joy = HAPPINESS.

What are you going to do more of this year??

I'm heading outside for a walk...

Monday, Monday, I'm Not Cryin' But I Could Be

 Tweet    Monday's are sometimes tough for writers, at least they can be for me. This is when I plan my week. What I have to do, what I want to do and especially what is most important to do.

It is always easy to plan the have-to's,  they are usually scheduled appointments, things that have deadlines this week, people you have committed to. Done!

Similarly, want-to's are often easy simply because they don't even have to to written down and they still have a pretty good chance of happening. You know...read that book, eat that last piece of pie, call a friend, watch a movie...buy those boots you saw on sale... Done!

It's the most-important-to-do's that seem to have the hardest time finding space on the calendar. Now, let me clarify. I'm not talking necessarily about need-to's either. Need to's are like the laundry, changing a diaper, cooking a meal. They will happen and if they don't there are consequences: screaming baby, nothing to wear, starvation. What I'm talking about are the things like...cut calories and eat healthy, exercise, work on my WIP,  the things that no one is going to call you on if they don't happen.

So, how can I make this happen? Here is the hard part...schedule it just like an appointment.

You have to set aside a special time to actually do it. Even more important is you have to be specific. Exactly, what is going to happen during that time. What is this bite going to look like? This is where I often go wrong. I either plan way too huge a bite that I choke on it or I make it too vague and spend most of the time fumbling around without really accomplishing anything.

Is this easy?   Hell no!  Do I always succeed? Double hell no! Why do I keep trying? I try because I believe that is why we have new days, new hours, new minutes so we can try it again.

How is your Monday going? Sometimes I have to push my Monday to Tuesday, what about you?

I Really Do Want To Do Some Things This Year...

OK, so after yesterday's post you probably all think I am the resolution/ goal scrooge. (You're probably right!) If you knew me 15 years ago you would understand.  I was a young mother with five children, trying to make a difficult marriage work, and an endless list of should and shouldn't do's.  So I'm a bit soured on the whole lets go conquer the world mentality.  Short story...life is way to hard without having people, God, or anybody looking over your shoulder and second guessing yourself. 

That said, I do have several things I plan to add to my writing life.  They say if you share them with someone you're more inclined to actually make the changes. (Oh, here it comes...OMG... *stomach churns* could I be committing to something...no, no...just breathe.) I'm pretty new to this writing life, so be gentle.

Stuff That Would Be Really Cool In 2011... (OK,  so I like lots of sugar with my medicine.)

1) Complete rewrites on my middle school novel.

2) Join a writer's group.

2) Find some awesome beta readers to critique my work.

3) Attend my first writer's conference.

4) Start work on my next middle school novel.

5) Write 3-5 blog posts a week.

6) Work with reluctant readers and coach kid's writing.

What cool stuff do you want to do? Any suggestions on how I can succeed in having a cool 2011?

Un-Goals For The Rebellious

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It's the first Monday of 2011 and like everyone else I'm wondering what this new year will bring. The pressure is on to set some lofty goals and hit the road running. We get out that fresh new sheet of paper, open that blank document and...*loud break squeal*...     What can I say, I'm a rebel. For years, I religiously set goals and created huge lists of stuff that I thought I should be learning, habits I should break and things that I should complete that year. By about February I had modified my goals and somewhere around May I would finally flush it all down the crapper.
    If this sounds foreign to you or you're scratching your head in confusion then stop reading and check out these great sites for inspirational goal setting:  Goal Setting For Writers, Setting Effective Writing Goals, Five Steps to Goal Setting, Writer Goals For 2011, Freelance Writers Goals, Meet Your Writing Goals, to name a few.
      If, on the other hand,  you're feeling comfortable and among friends then stick around for some instructions on setting UN-goals.
    Step One: Don't call them goals. Yeah, it's only semantics but for the organizationally challenged it can be a sure-fire end to success. These are target coordinates or directional focus points.
    Step Two: Honestly evaluate where you are. This is often a painful exercise but for any real progress, a vital exercise. For example: If you hate the smell and atmosphere of a gym, setting a goal to hit the gym 3-4 times a week is just plain stupid!
     Step Three:Reflect on your successes of 2010, not your failures. So many of us head into our new year with huge failure medals weighing us down before we even start the new year. What worked is what we want to focus on.  Do more of that.
    Step Four: Break it down to small palatable bites. The biggest mistake most of us make when contemplating "goals" is focusing on the beginning and the end. As any writer knows it's the middle of the story that causes the lull, that treading-water-in-army-boots craziness.  So... what one thing can you do everyday that will keep you going and pointed in the right direction.
    Step Five: Push reset often! The rebellious are easily bored. People like us tend to be random, spontaneous and need to shake things up to keep it interesting. Each month, each week and each day is brand new and can become whatever you decide you want it to be. Sometimes it even requires an hour to hour mentality. 
     Step Six:  Reward often. Celebrate every accomplishment. Create incentives for even the small steps along the way. 1500 word=latte. Five blog posts=chocolate bar. Completed rewrite=new book. You get the idea.
    Step Seven: Find a share-the-joy buddy. This isn't just any friend. This is the one that cheers with you, one that gets excited when you're excited and totally gets you.

There are probably more but I think you get the idea... don't set yourself up to fail before you even get out of the gate. We are way too hard on ourselves. Life and writing can be stressful enough without putting the added pressure of arbitrary goals. Any real accomplishments come from lifestyle changes, being a writer is a lifestyle. So...be the writer. How will you "be the writer" today?