Granny's Corner: Long Distance Connections

          When my last child (#6) left the nest, I already had several grandchildren. My experience balancing the last few years of high school for my sons and those little babies was a strange dichotomy, requiring a shift in gears from parent to grandparent. At this point you may say, what's the difference? Anyone who is a grandparent knows what I'm talking about. 

       Each time I've been called upon to babysit, I'm always amazed how forgetful my children are. Although I raised them, all six of them, somehow, either due to my menopausal fog, shift in the universe or just plain ignorance, they think I haven't a clue about what to do when a baby cries. Funny, how that doesn't change when the children get older, as the parent painstakingly explains how to take care of their child. 

      My goal as a mother-in-law, grandparent and mother is to offer advice only when it's requested and even then, deliver it sparingly. This is their time to learn about themselves as parents and spouses and the last thing they need is an overbearing parent/in-law. They'll make mistakes (I did) and sometimes it's better that way. (Not to mention the may-you-have-a-child-just-like-you redemption.)

    I've been at this for ten years and I think I have some knowledge to impart, humor to share and ideas for making those connections with your grandchildren lasting. 

   One of the challenges that today's grandparents face is  distance. The good news is there are great tools we can utilize to stay in touch. Here's a list of ways I'm trying to stay in touch.

1. Snail Mail- Children still love getting mail, cards, letters, gifts, anything that arrives magically at their door or delivered by the people in blue,brown or purple.

           Postcards- These are cheap and easy to find and kids love pictures, you can even make your own postcards on the computer, if you're tech saavy.

           Photos-Thirteen cents for a 4x6 photo (Costco) is darn good and kids love photos.

           Letters- Old fashioned letters are almost a lost art. I once had a grandmother that would write picture story letters where certain words were represented as a simple drawing. Another fun thing is to write in code so the grandchild has to decifer the code to see what you said. 

jc-schools.net

2. Email- Many children and teens have their own computers now and email accounts. The thing about email is it's quick and you can carry on a conversation, daily or weekly. (I hope you're picking up the necessity for you to learn to use a computer. Nothing's better than a tech, saavy granny!) Try this: Start a story and take turns writing it over the internet. I've even done that over the phone together, when it's finished I send it to them.

3. Chat- There are multiple companies that offer chat over the internet, Facebook, Yahoo, Google, etc. Take advantage of these free ways to communicate, even a quick,"Hey, how are you?" or "What's up?" keeps the line of communication open. 

4. Skype-This one is new for me. How cool is it that you can speak to someone miles away and see them in real time? Unbelievable. It's almost as good as being there. The challenge sometimes is timezone differences and setting up a time. Those that are successful with this seem to have regular times scheduled each week or every two weeks.

freestockphotos.biz

5. Text- I learned a while ago, and believe me I fought it, that the best way to get in touch with my kids is through text. At this point I really wish my parents and some of my siblings would get on board because this is instant. A quick,"Hi, I'm thinking about you, hope your having a great day." Goes a long way to let them know you care. None of my grandkids are old enough for phones but when they are you can bet they will be getting texts from their Grams. (Not when I'm driving!)

6. Facetime- This currently is an Apple only product, but those that have it say the realtime conversations are awesome. It requires a wireless connection. It won't work through the 3,4 or 5G internet access. 

With all of these suggestions it is important to stay focused on why you are doing it: To keep the line of communication open and let them know you are there for them. If your purpose to get kudos from their parents or consistent responses from your grandchildren than you're missing the point. Remember, they need us, we aren't children anymore, it's important to remember that. I don't know how many parents and grandparents I've heard say, "Well, they never call me...why should I call them." That's just sad. 

Three of my grandsons!

Often these efforts to stay in touch get lost in the shuffle because we're hoping for that chunk of time to appear. It won't. Even a short howdy is better than nothing at all. Don't get hung up on always having a meaningful exchange. The important thing is to stay in touch which sends the message, I care about you and what your doing. Gifting that message is the best thing you can send a child.

How do you stay in touch with your grandchildren that are miles away?

Am I Really a Writer?

Source: yuribaranovsky.com

Tweet     Of all the questions we ask ourselves, there is one question that does more to gum up a writers muse than all others:   Am I Really A Writer?

   By itself it seems harmless enough and self reflection is good for us. Right? So why does this question carry such dire consequences? 

    Sometimes the very act of discovering the perfect descriptors, a basic exercise for any writer, for what it is we do creates an insurgent inadequacy powerful enough to knock the pen from our hands.  

    For we idealize the artist as we do the movie star. Each of us carrying  a vision of what a true writer looks like. 

    Perhaps yours is of the lone writer struggling tirelessly against the curse of vagueness.  Or a Stephen King-like voraciousness that continues to spew forth published works or the Emily Dickenson-like surreptitious strength of brevity bubbling quietly from within.  

     An impossible measure that can leave us barren.

     A writer, not unlike an artist,  is someone who views the world in a way that demands the act of expression and wields the pen like a brush upon a canvas.  

      Roland Barthes  said  "... I cannot but ascribe to some super-humanity the existence of beings vast enough to wear blue pajamas at the very moment when they manifest themselves as universal conscience."

Source: kaboodle.com

So as I don my pink footie pajamas armed with nothing but my keyboard and a cup of joe I plunge again because I don't know any other way to live.

What's your vision of a writer and how do you remind yourself that you are indeed a writer? 

Fifteen Awesome Blogs!

So, last week I received an award from Angela Felsted over at My Poetry and Prose Place. 
Thanks so much Angela! I spent the weekend trying to find new blogs that I hadn't visited before so it took me a while. Here are fifteen blogs that I think deserve this Stylish Award.

Congratulations To The Following Winners! 

  ***I'd also like to challenge the winners to find 15 new blogs that deserve the Stylish Blogger award.  Happy clicking.***

Check out Beth's blog all about balance, one of my favorite words:
To The Fullest


 Over at Dark Angel, Sherry is just plain cool.

 Check out the Writing Fortress a group of published writers.  

Over at A Writers Reality Mellissa Cunningham shares her adventures in reading and writing.

Now if your looking for some motivation try Writing While The Rice Boils  where Debbie Allen gives great advice!

Cynthia Watson is another wonderful Canadian writer who writes YA paranormal fiction.

Then over at Still Writing  JEFritz is taking us on her writing journey.

Choices is always choosing the right words at Love To Teach.

Girl Unpublished is where Jessica Stanford shares her picture book writing adventure.  

Renee Miller is  Dangling on the Edge of Sanity and shares a major hottie.

At Brenda Drake Writes , Brenda lets us in on her latest coffee brew besides great blogging.   

Then hop over to DNA Writers where Brenda and her buddies are launching a new blog.  


Wendy Sparrow shares her adventures at Where The Ladybugs Roar.

Find out what Scobberlotch means (it's a verb) over at author, Karen Harrington's Blog.            

Take a hop to Sherrie Peterson's Write About Now  is a blog that is chuck full of great information.

So When Do They Talk Grandma?

Tweet  We have often heard the sentiment, "from the mouths of babes." Bill Cosby even capitalized on the funny things that kids say with his television show, Kids Say The Darndest Things. 

   The other day I was looking at some old pictures and remembered some of the great lines my kids have said over the years.

What makes them so great? They're honest, children call them how they see them.


Here are a few of my favorites:


My daughter looking into my grandmothers face, "Grandma why do you have so many lines on your face?"


My granddaughter at her first time seeing the Nutcracker Ballet, "So when do they start talking, Grandma?"

My grandson when he jumps real high he says, "Grandma, look I can jump up sky." or "Look at the bird, up sky." 

 

When I was little our neighbor asked why our mom didn't drink coffee, my brother said, "'Cause it turns her bottom brown." 


What are some of your favorite lines? 

I Really Do Want To Do Some Things This Year...

OK, so after yesterday's post you probably all think I am the resolution/ goal scrooge. (You're probably right!) If you knew me 15 years ago you would understand.  I was a young mother with five children, trying to make a difficult marriage work, and an endless list of should and shouldn't do's.  So I'm a bit soured on the whole lets go conquer the world mentality.  Short story...life is way to hard without having people, God, or anybody looking over your shoulder and second guessing yourself. 

That said, I do have several things I plan to add to my writing life.  They say if you share them with someone you're more inclined to actually make the changes. (Oh, here it comes...OMG... *stomach churns* could I be committing to something...no, no...just breathe.) I'm pretty new to this writing life, so be gentle.

Stuff That Would Be Really Cool In 2011... (OK,  so I like lots of sugar with my medicine.)

1) Complete rewrites on my middle school novel.

2) Join a writer's group.

2) Find some awesome beta readers to critique my work.

3) Attend my first writer's conference.

4) Start work on my next middle school novel.

5) Write 3-5 blog posts a week.

6) Work with reluctant readers and coach kid's writing.

What cool stuff do you want to do? Any suggestions on how I can succeed in having a cool 2011?

Brain Lurking

This is boring!

 People often say, “My mother always said” or “You know what Dad always says". I wonder what my children will carry with them. A few things come to mind: My ridiculous morning wake up song, *obnoxiously loud* “Time to wake up, up, up”, and my response to the their statement, “I’m bored.” *hands on hips* “Well, that means you must be a boring person Surely, you can think of something to do.” That’s it? That’s the legacy of wisdom I have passed down to my offspring?

Needless to say, I hope that there are nuggets of wisdom I have passed on that I just can’t think of right now. Reflecting on my own childhood I dug to see what was lurking in my brain. “Honesty is the best policy.” “Skin the cat.” (This was my mother’s creative way to get us to help take our shirts off. I guess out of context it sounds kind of morbid.) “The healthiest meal has lots of color on the plate.” Ok, that’s a start. Then I started thinking about unspoken messages passed from generation to generation. Grandma Dorothy was always whistling or humming and I find that there is always some kind of music in my head. (It is often some annoying jingle from a commercial or even a Christmas song. Blah) However, it gives me a connection to her, a memory that is etched in my brain forever. We always knew how grandma and grandpa felt about each other. No big physical displays of affection, only glances and subtle touches and a warm safe feeling. But the biggest way we knew were the little things they did for each other. There were little acts of kindness, pulling a chair out, cooking a favorite trout dinner, speaking to each other with gentleness and respect.

What nuggets have you received from important people in your life? Are there any unspoken messages lurking in your head? I would love to hear about them!

Check out my new page entitled “Mom Says” This week is the first in a three part series on what I think are the essential ingredients of a happy life…