I've been having a thought that has weighed on my mind this last week. For years I told my children to enjoy the day you're in but I am finding it difficult to follow my own advice.
Mostly, guilt. One of the most useless words in our vocabulary. It paralyzes our ability to act, it keeps us frozen in our feelings of inadequacy and blocks any chance of enjoying the moment.
Up until a few months ago the pace in my life was breathtaking. I never had enough time to get everything done. Every waking moment was filled with anxious busyness.
Now, I don't spend my life in the car transporting children to activities, sitting in a waiting room rarely happens, the house is quiet, it takes 2 days to fill the dishwasher and I only do laundry once a week. All six children are on their own.
Those of you in the daily race wonder as I did, will I ever get to the finish? Yes, you most certainly will. However, I've found that while the tasks have lessened and the noise is gone my inside engine is still idling really high.
Shouldn't I be cleaning, organizing, attending, doing something for someone else? I really hadn't anticipated the difficulty I would have when I wasn't needed anymore.
So my question today is...how do I quiet the guilt and slow the revving of my engine so the time I now have can be "my time"? *whoosh of guilt* How do I allow myself to sleep in, sit in a chair and read a book, write in my pajamas, volunteer, play with a grandchild, breath?