TODAY IS THE DAY!!!

Today officially begins my 50th year. How do I feel? Pretty awesome! We haven't had rain for weeks and today it's pouring. It feels refreshing and renewing. Yes, I love rain. I miss the lightning and thunder of the Midwest but I love the way it cleans the air and makes everything green. I love that clean smell that wafts through my windows.

As far as my birthday goes, lights didn't flash, the earth didn't shake, nor do I feel different. I am a little bit amazed that I have arrived at this point in my life. When you're young you think that fifty is soooo old. I don't feel sooo old just a little rough around the edges with a few more aches and pains.

I want to thank everyone that has helped me and supported me all these years and shaped me to who I am today. I am grateful for the gift of each day and look forward to many more!

P.S. For three days I get to be a cougar, my husband will still be 49 until Friday. Grrrrr!

Brain Lurking

This is boring!

 People often say, “My mother always said” or “You know what Dad always says". I wonder what my children will carry with them. A few things come to mind: My ridiculous morning wake up song, *obnoxiously loud* “Time to wake up, up, up”, and my response to the their statement, “I’m bored.” *hands on hips* “Well, that means you must be a boring person Surely, you can think of something to do.” That’s it? That’s the legacy of wisdom I have passed down to my offspring?

Needless to say, I hope that there are nuggets of wisdom I have passed on that I just can’t think of right now. Reflecting on my own childhood I dug to see what was lurking in my brain. “Honesty is the best policy.” “Skin the cat.” (This was my mother’s creative way to get us to help take our shirts off. I guess out of context it sounds kind of morbid.) “The healthiest meal has lots of color on the plate.” Ok, that’s a start. Then I started thinking about unspoken messages passed from generation to generation. Grandma Dorothy was always whistling or humming and I find that there is always some kind of music in my head. (It is often some annoying jingle from a commercial or even a Christmas song. Blah) However, it gives me a connection to her, a memory that is etched in my brain forever. We always knew how grandma and grandpa felt about each other. No big physical displays of affection, only glances and subtle touches and a warm safe feeling. But the biggest way we knew were the little things they did for each other. There were little acts of kindness, pulling a chair out, cooking a favorite trout dinner, speaking to each other with gentleness and respect.

What nuggets have you received from important people in your life? Are there any unspoken messages lurking in your head? I would love to hear about them!

Check out my new page entitled “Mom Says” This week is the first in a three part series on what I think are the essential ingredients of a happy life…

My Dearest Children,

As I start my fiftieth year, I am beginning to feel my own mortality. Gone are the days that never ended, the summers that never came and the years that seemed to crawl.  Now the days and weeks speed by and there is never enough time in a day.  Waiting for the light to change at an intersection doesn't make me crazy anymore, well maybe sometimes. I have spent most of my life rushing to the next destination, thinking more about tomorrow than today and counting the days until my babies would be out of diapers and starting school.  Now that I am here, I 'm really wondering what the hurry was all about. Why do we feel pressure to get that one more thing done a day or make that one last phone call? Often at the expense of those we love.
      Don't misunderstand; I have a huge bucket list.  There are many things I want to do and places I'd like to visit in my life. However, I am enjoying each day. Now I want my days to slow down, I want to treasure each moment as it comes and be in that moment. I've always been able to appreciate my surroundings because I have always lived in beautiful places. Many of my hardest times have been tempered by listening to soft wind in the trees, walking or sitting outside and allowing my heart to be lighter as the things I can't control blow off my shoulders.
    I am concerned that lost in the speed to get to the next day and the huge changes that were forced upon you, my children, you may be at a loss as to what your "Mom" really thinks, what she believes and what is important to her. I think that Dane, Bryce and Chris were blessed to be around a calmer, gentler Mother. We have had many talks about life, the future and our place in it.
     So, I have decided that while I labor away on the great American novel and other projects, I would use my love of writing and words to express what is important to me, what I believe and what I hope for the future. I feel so privileged to have what I believe are the most interesting, thoughtful and creative people I have ever known as my very own children. I love you all so very much and I am proud of the men and women you have become.            
                                                         All my love,
                                                                             Mom

Stay tuned for what I think
the three most important ingredients to a happy life are...

Write On Con Recovery

I don't know about you but I woke up this morning with a pounding headache, a very busy brain and felt really sad. The headache was from  sitting glued to my computer screen for three consecutive days. My brain is filled with new names, books, websites, blogs and oodles of great ideas. And I'm feeling sad that Write On Con has come to an end. Be of good cheer, there is hope!



 Diagnosis: Write On Con Withdrawal


Treatment: Pam's foolproof, 100% natural 12 step recovery plan.


12 Steps To Recovery

1) Keep in touch. Say hey to those new friends you've made.

2) Organize your bookmarks: new blogs, author websites, agents...

3) Compile your "To Be Read" List

4) Take a deep breath and step away from the computer. (I know, I know, it hurts!)

5) Don't panic! All Write On Con material will be available online for review.*sigh*

6) Share the highlights with a good writing buddy. Compare notes.

7) Take a walk become part of the world again.

8) Write a thank you to the organizers and plead with them to do it again.

9) Choose one idea to incorporate daily or even weekly.

10) Say hello to friends and family, let them know your are alive.

11) Repeat after me: "I am a great writer, I have a story to tell and I will take the time to produce my best work".

12) Write! Write! Write!

Now if this doesn't work, read two books, drink a margarita and try again in the morning!

A toast to all my partners in writing!

There Is No Spoon

Writing requires a particular mindset. Much of the work is inside our heads. This requires time and space from other distractions. For me, working from home has always been the biggest distraction. The dishes yell from the sink, the floor whispers a dusty greeting and projects from the yard beat tom-toms. As I embark on the "now or never" writing life it is easier to focus and I believe there are specific reasons that this is the case.

When you’re the mother of six children you develop an ability to tune out a certain amount of chaos in order to focus on the tasks at hand. Unless there is blood or excessive cruelty my rule was to let them learn their own way, tattling would get you nowhere. Screaming and yelling, even crying was subject to a quick screening and dismissed so I could focus on breastfeeding the new baby, cooking the meal or teaching another child to tie his shoe. Since time was limited, I learned to find moments to myself during naps, while waiting in a doctor’s office, even driving to the next activity. We writers are very cerebral so characters were developed, plots were thickened and settings created while tending to daily tasks.

Juggling of priorities requires the practice of “There is No Spoon” Theory. In layman’s terms this would be considered selective vision. Dishes in the sink, dust on the mantle, clothes in overflowing the hamper, toothpaste on the mirror have to become invisible in order to rock a baby to sleep. Strategy suggests incorporating mindless housework into activities that the children could construe as play. One of our favorites was creating an ice skating rink on the kitchen floor with shaving cream. (A tradition, I'm proud to say has been handed down to my grandchildren.) Then while my children are skimming across the soapy surface the floor inadvertently is cleaned.

Finally, once all the children were in school I returned to pursue a college degree. Thank God for Starbucks or I wouldn’t have been able to pull off those late night study sessions. ( My body has since revolted, I can no longer drink coffee without extreme discomfort, I'll spare you the details.) Again, closing my eyes to mounting piles of laundry, molding food in the refrigerator or dust balls the size of melons required tunnel vision. I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that once I remarried, my dear husband took on much of the housework and cooking so I could focus on my schooling. This still required a type of blurred vision as he accomplished these necessary tasks in his own way. (You can actually wash everything in the same load, stuff towels every which way in the closet and stack dishes in the cupboards haphazardly. Once the door is closed who cares!)

How did all this experience instruct my writing life? Well, to write this blog I have shut my eyes to the stack of towels that need folding, dishes in the sink, errands to be run and phone calls to make. There is no spoon…for that matter there is nothing but the words firing from my fingertips creating a matrix of meaning on the page.