Making The New Year Happy

It's common this time of year to assess where we are and where we want to go. Resolutions like losing weight, eating healthy, exercising, watching less TV are all common ideas and great things to incorporate into our lives. But, how often do we think about making this next year happy?

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Usually, we view happiness as something at the end of a long struggle. In America our protestant heritage often tells us that happiness is the result of doing without, sacrificing and suffering. Today, I will argue that happiness comes from a more intrinsic place. It doesn't exist as something outside of ourselves but it's source is deep within us. It is the essence of who we are.

Before you click off thinking I'm talking about positive thinking, pause, take a breath and stick with me for a few short paragraphs.

I'm not saying it's easy or obvious. And for some of us it may take a little work. It will require stopping our busy lives for a moment and think about what makes us happy. Once we figure out what those things are, then we make sure that this year we do more of them. No adding new routines, no keeping up with the Jones' or creating an endless list of how we don't measure up.

This week I'll be working on that list. I'll be thinking about what brings me the most joy and I will be doing more of those things. It's important to point out that the joy and happiness I'm talking about isn't fleeting, doesn't wear off or run out. This is the kind of happiness that when you wake up the next day it still feels wonderful and regret free.

I love to read, write and walk and I always feel joy when I'm doing them.  I plan on doing more of them each day. Simple equation: Doing more things that give me joy = HAPPINESS.

What are you going to do more of this year??

I'm heading outside for a walk...

Take A Risk Tuesday: Can I Do That?

     I'm a rebel. Or at least I hope I am.

Rebel

1.a person who refuses allegiance to, resists, or rises in arms against   

    the government or ruler of his or her country.

2.a person who resists any authority, control, or tradition.

 

    For the purposes of this post, the second definition is the one I'm discussing. I've always resisted the idea that I couldn't do something. While I haven't always had the tenacious attitude, I have always admired those that do. 

 

   When someone tells me I can't do something, like the two-year-old, I find I'm far more interested in making it happen. In school, if there was someone that didn't like me, I went about making them my friend. Yes, this has led me into some painful experiences, but none of them a waste of my time or energy.  

 

     Being a rebel is risky business and we are bound to make our share of blunders. I've also noticed, the older I get the more willing I am to settle and accept things. On top of that, our culture is always romanticizing youth and selling the idea that staying young is about what we see when we look in the mirror. 

     The secret to to staying young is to continue to try new things, experience all that this world has to offer. Rebel a little. While our energy level may not be that of a twenty-year-old, we recognize the difference between being busy and actually accomplishing something. 

So, as I begin my day, I'm going to separate the things that must be done from the should be done and somewhere in between I'll find the thing that will bring me and others to a better place.

Being afraid of failing or pain is what keeps us from exploring our true potential. 

Today I am granting you permission to rebel. Take the road less traveled. Take a risk. 

Are you with me? Doesn't matter I'm going to do it anyway...

Happiness: A State of Mind

   The other night I watched my four-year-old grandson have his swimming lesson.  When he began weeks ago he was a bit timid but he's come a long way. I realized that he was totally involved in his lesson and his experience in the water. He jumped, splashed, grinned ear to ear and kicked like crazy. He was in the moment. I was reminded of another time when I witnessed this state of being present.

     It was several years ago during a dark time in my life. I had gone to the ocean with a dear friend. It was October. The Washington coast  was gray, windy and cold. We had decided to take solitary walks on the beach. She suddenly stopped ahead, took off her outer clothing and ran into the cold surf, jumping and squealing in the waves. She was in the moment. 

   We often think of Happiness as a destination but it isn't.  Happiness is a state of mind.  A mind that is in the moment, fully present and open to whatever emotions and physical sensations are happening at that moment. Many of us spend so much of our time, planning, regretting, wishing, hoping, always thinking of the next thing missing the point of living.

  What's the point? To be fully present in our lives.  To slow down and be in the moment. Only then will Happiness light upon our shoulder as quiet and gentle as if it was always there.

What do you do to be fully present and in the moment?

So When Do They Talk Grandma?

Tweet  We have often heard the sentiment, "from the mouths of babes." Bill Cosby even capitalized on the funny things that kids say with his television show, Kids Say The Darndest Things. 

   The other day I was looking at some old pictures and remembered some of the great lines my kids have said over the years.

What makes them so great? They're honest, children call them how they see them.


Here are a few of my favorites:


My daughter looking into my grandmothers face, "Grandma why do you have so many lines on your face?"


My granddaughter at her first time seeing the Nutcracker Ballet, "So when do they start talking, Grandma?"

My grandson when he jumps real high he says, "Grandma, look I can jump up sky." or "Look at the bird, up sky." 

 

When I was little our neighbor asked why our mom didn't drink coffee, my brother said, "'Cause it turns her bottom brown." 


What are some of your favorite lines? 

My Dearest Children,

As I start my fiftieth year, I am beginning to feel my own mortality. Gone are the days that never ended, the summers that never came and the years that seemed to crawl.  Now the days and weeks speed by and there is never enough time in a day.  Waiting for the light to change at an intersection doesn't make me crazy anymore, well maybe sometimes. I have spent most of my life rushing to the next destination, thinking more about tomorrow than today and counting the days until my babies would be out of diapers and starting school.  Now that I am here, I 'm really wondering what the hurry was all about. Why do we feel pressure to get that one more thing done a day or make that one last phone call? Often at the expense of those we love.
      Don't misunderstand; I have a huge bucket list.  There are many things I want to do and places I'd like to visit in my life. However, I am enjoying each day. Now I want my days to slow down, I want to treasure each moment as it comes and be in that moment. I've always been able to appreciate my surroundings because I have always lived in beautiful places. Many of my hardest times have been tempered by listening to soft wind in the trees, walking or sitting outside and allowing my heart to be lighter as the things I can't control blow off my shoulders.
    I am concerned that lost in the speed to get to the next day and the huge changes that were forced upon you, my children, you may be at a loss as to what your "Mom" really thinks, what she believes and what is important to her. I think that Dane, Bryce and Chris were blessed to be around a calmer, gentler Mother. We have had many talks about life, the future and our place in it.
     So, I have decided that while I labor away on the great American novel and other projects, I would use my love of writing and words to express what is important to me, what I believe and what I hope for the future. I feel so privileged to have what I believe are the most interesting, thoughtful and creative people I have ever known as my very own children. I love you all so very much and I am proud of the men and women you have become.            
                                                         All my love,
                                                                             Mom

Stay tuned for what I think
the three most important ingredients to a happy life are...