Never, never give up...Except when it's time

N is for Never

I once believed that I could do anything, go anywhere, be anybody. One day I found out that wasn't true. What I do know is winners sometimes have to lose before they win. Not sure what I mean?  Let me see if I can explain it. Stay with me. To get to the other side of this it will require some trudging through the muck.

As children everything is possible. We soon realize that we have limitations. Some say those limitations are only in our minds, maybe. This was the reality:  no matter how hard I tried I couldn't run fast enough to compete with the best runners. Miles and miles later it hit me that I really didn't enjoy running my guts out. The obsession with getting miles in, pleasing my coach and beating my competition had lost its pull. So I quit. Amazingly, after getting over the initial feeling of failure, I actually felt better, less anxious. I was free to turn my attention elsewhere. My writing.

Years later, after burning and ruining things I had to face the fact that cooking wasn't my forte. Heaven forbid a homemaker that had serious problems in the kitchen. For awhile, I thought something was wrong with me. Why was this so difficult for me?  I must not be smart enough, trying hard enough and I definitely wasn't fullfilling my "role" as a woman. Then one day it hit me; I don't like to cook.  I discovered pre-cooked foods and didn't fret if all we had for dinner was a sandwich. Once over the guilt and embarrassment I had courage to admit that I didn't like laundry, organizing shelves or cleaning. That was when I accepted that clean was good enough everything didn't have to be spotless. If my children had full tummies and had clean clothes on, it was enough.  I felt relaxed with my children, less stressed out about not getting everything done perfectly. Reading and playing with my children became a joy instead of a bother. And I had time to write.

What does this have to do with writing? Stephen King wrote, "The biggest part of writing successfully is being talented, and in the context of marketing, the only bad writer is one who doesn’t get paid. If you’re not talented, you won’t succeed. And if you’re not succeeding, you should know when to quit."  Harsh! My son once said he was "thinking" about being a writer but decided he doesn't really like to write. If there is no passion for what you do, you're probably doing the wrong thing.

So, to boil down to the essential message of this post. Never, never give up until you realize that it's time to try something else. Failure is when you keep doing something even when 1)You have no talent.  2)You do it for the wrong reasons. 3)Or you're so out of tune with who you are and reality-- to move on. I still don't know if I'm going to be  a "successful" writer but I do know I live to write!

Have you ever had to quit something after you realized it wasn't the thing for you? How did you feel? Or do you think I'm full of @#$%?

What I've Learned About Scene

     I wanted to talk about scene today. I'm working on the first draft of a middle grade novel. (I've had a few false starts.) In the process I have noticed a few things. 1) I keep trying to order things 2) My "beginning" is getting vague as I go deeper into my story.3) I keep reading over my written scenes.  *pulling out hair*

    I've continued to look for all the advice I can about the role scene plays in the novel. The main point idea: scenes are the starting point for story. Usually, scene presents itself long before you have a coherent story. However, we who are control freaks or want to sound "authory" try and explain the scenes instead of just writing them. Don't misunderstand this is not the editor showing its fangs--that comes later. This is our need to order things, understand exactly where we are going, write everything in our minds eye and plan accordingly.

     So, what to do. Well, here it is...*listen up you pantsers your gonna love this*. Story shouldn't be our concern until we have created enough narrative that the "elements themselves begin asking for the coherence of structure" (Vandenburgh, 27). Simply stated: Write our brains out without thinking about order or where it's taking us. As far as this draft is concerned, the writing should suck. Vandenburgh calls this "prewriting" to make it easier to toss later.(Resource: Architecture of a Novel by Jane Vandenburgh.)

    Holly Lyle on her post about scene states,"As the atom is the smallest discrete unit of matter, so the scene is the smallest discrete unit in fiction..." Our scenes are to story what scaffolding is to skyscrapers. It appears we try to manipulate our scenes before we give them a chance to spill out on the page. 

     Kay Kenyon writes,"If you are reading and re-reading your last few pages to get a run-up on your next scene, stop this now. Rereading causes revision blindness later."  She suggests using a tool called a scene list to jot down things that occur to you while you are writing to keep you from going back. I believe this is similar to the process Joyce Carol Oats uses when the story is first being born.

     Linda Clare explains that the most important element of scene is change, something has to happen. We still have the work of choosing, we need not tell everything in our minds eye. The adage..."Enter late, leave early" should be all the order we care about at this point.

     I love Jean Oram's analogy of a scene to a Thanksgiving dinner. What if you sat everyone down, insisted that everyone act a certain way, eat in an order you dictate and not allow any spontaneity. Why? Because, it is your dinner and you have a vision of what it "should" look like. She goes on to explain that this would create a "cardboard cutout of real life". This is what too much pressure to order can do to scene. (Besides, whats Thanksgiving without some drama?)

Bottom line folks...there is a ton of great advice out there. At some point you discover what works for you and I have great faith that I will too.

What helps you to get the story on to the page? What role does scene play in that process?

Am I Really a Writer?

Source: yuribaranovsky.com

Tweet     Of all the questions we ask ourselves, there is one question that does more to gum up a writers muse than all others:   Am I Really A Writer?

   By itself it seems harmless enough and self reflection is good for us. Right? So why does this question carry such dire consequences? 

    Sometimes the very act of discovering the perfect descriptors, a basic exercise for any writer, for what it is we do creates an insurgent inadequacy powerful enough to knock the pen from our hands.  

    For we idealize the artist as we do the movie star. Each of us carrying  a vision of what a true writer looks like. 

    Perhaps yours is of the lone writer struggling tirelessly against the curse of vagueness.  Or a Stephen King-like voraciousness that continues to spew forth published works or the Emily Dickenson-like surreptitious strength of brevity bubbling quietly from within.  

     An impossible measure that can leave us barren.

     A writer, not unlike an artist,  is someone who views the world in a way that demands the act of expression and wields the pen like a brush upon a canvas.  

      Roland Barthes  said  "... I cannot but ascribe to some super-humanity the existence of beings vast enough to wear blue pajamas at the very moment when they manifest themselves as universal conscience."

Source: kaboodle.com

So as I don my pink footie pajamas armed with nothing but my keyboard and a cup of joe I plunge again because I don't know any other way to live.

What's your vision of a writer and how do you remind yourself that you are indeed a writer? 

My Favorite B Words

      I love words as does any writer. However, I have some words that are my absolute favorites, either because of how they sound when I say them, the feeling or picture they produce, or what they intuitively mean to me. 

     Today I thought I would share my three most favorite B words. These three words pretty much govern my philosophy of life. They provide a paradigm that I live by. Interestingly, I think they also apply to the writing life.

      Believe  A belief in yourself, a belief in the benevolence of others, and a belief that there is something larger than all of us. I'm not sure the specifics of what that is is as important as the belief that we are part of something greater, part of a power that governs the universe in which all living things play a vital role.

      Balance  Living and growing is a chaotic process. When we are in balance we see things clearer and make better choices. Our daily choices of how we spend our time are rarely between good and bad. They are about balancing our precious time between our families, our work and ourselves.

     Be     This is the hardest of the three. This is the word that tells us to slow down, stop and listen. To be is about learning to accept ourselves. Being allows us to stop the treadmill in order to hear our better self and appreciate who we are. It is about enjoying the moment. Being present in our lives.  

What are your favorite words?

Monday, Monday, I'm Not Cryin' But I Could Be

 Tweet    Monday's are sometimes tough for writers, at least they can be for me. This is when I plan my week. What I have to do, what I want to do and especially what is most important to do.

It is always easy to plan the have-to's,  they are usually scheduled appointments, things that have deadlines this week, people you have committed to. Done!

Similarly, want-to's are often easy simply because they don't even have to to written down and they still have a pretty good chance of happening. You know...read that book, eat that last piece of pie, call a friend, watch a movie...buy those boots you saw on sale... Done!

It's the most-important-to-do's that seem to have the hardest time finding space on the calendar. Now, let me clarify. I'm not talking necessarily about need-to's either. Need to's are like the laundry, changing a diaper, cooking a meal. They will happen and if they don't there are consequences: screaming baby, nothing to wear, starvation. What I'm talking about are the things like...cut calories and eat healthy, exercise, work on my WIP,  the things that no one is going to call you on if they don't happen.

So, how can I make this happen? Here is the hard part...schedule it just like an appointment.

You have to set aside a special time to actually do it. Even more important is you have to be specific. Exactly, what is going to happen during that time. What is this bite going to look like? This is where I often go wrong. I either plan way too huge a bite that I choke on it or I make it too vague and spend most of the time fumbling around without really accomplishing anything.

Is this easy?   Hell no!  Do I always succeed? Double hell no! Why do I keep trying? I try because I believe that is why we have new days, new hours, new minutes so we can try it again.

How is your Monday going? Sometimes I have to push my Monday to Tuesday, what about you?

I Really Do Want To Do Some Things This Year...

OK, so after yesterday's post you probably all think I am the resolution/ goal scrooge. (You're probably right!) If you knew me 15 years ago you would understand.  I was a young mother with five children, trying to make a difficult marriage work, and an endless list of should and shouldn't do's.  So I'm a bit soured on the whole lets go conquer the world mentality.  Short story...life is way to hard without having people, God, or anybody looking over your shoulder and second guessing yourself. 

That said, I do have several things I plan to add to my writing life.  They say if you share them with someone you're more inclined to actually make the changes. (Oh, here it comes...OMG... *stomach churns* could I be committing to something...no, no...just breathe.) I'm pretty new to this writing life, so be gentle.

Stuff That Would Be Really Cool In 2011... (OK,  so I like lots of sugar with my medicine.)

1) Complete rewrites on my middle school novel.

2) Join a writer's group.

2) Find some awesome beta readers to critique my work.

3) Attend my first writer's conference.

4) Start work on my next middle school novel.

5) Write 3-5 blog posts a week.

6) Work with reluctant readers and coach kid's writing.

What cool stuff do you want to do? Any suggestions on how I can succeed in having a cool 2011?